i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
