I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
