No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
