so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I need to sanitize my soul.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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