whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
