I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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