sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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