I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
