dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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