the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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