Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
