I think my vagina is haunted
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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