we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
