I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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