You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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