Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
