I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
