tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
