This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
