I heard we made out
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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