The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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