break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
