I must be too annoying 4 u.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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