So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
