what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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