Your dad touched me again.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
