i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
