Define "chronic" masturbator.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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