you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
