You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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