in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
