awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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