His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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