it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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