I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
