If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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