hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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