So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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