I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
