I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Floor bacon is actually really good
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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