And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I can't turn off my feet"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
