Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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