we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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