i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
