And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
