When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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