Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
