Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
