Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
