For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
