I feel like abortions should bother me more
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
